If for no other reason, we want to see a Tony Tchani Hat Trick™ in our lifetime!
(Ed. Note: This is a pretty obscure, self-serving reference. For the uninitiated, a Tony Tchani Hat Trick™ is a goal, an assist and a yellow card in one game.)
10. Don't Cross the Line (NR)
MLS has released its newest video as a part of their Don't Cross the Line campaign to end discrimination.
9. 2017 MLS Roster Rule updates (+3)
We didn't know exactly what to make of the new rules when they were released, but Crew SC appear to have taken full advantage, using Don Garber Fun Bucks to lock up last year's MVP Justin Meram and new captain Wil Trapp to long-term deals that come with hefty salary bumps. No, per club policy, we don't know for how long or how much, but sometimes it's nice to leave a little something to the imagination.
8. USMNT drama (NR)
We ain't talking about the fact that U.S. head coach Bruce Arena passed over Wil Trapp in favor of Jermaine Jones, who would be 37 by the next World Cup and whom, but for his being an US international, we abhor. Take it away, Alejandro Bedoya.